Rising

Building Awareness - Circa 1988

Standing in the front yard, facing East,
I see the world in my house.
All I have known so far, exists within this frame.
Turning West, down the hill
the lights from town increase my awareness.
Every light represents a person, a business, a reason.
The moon ascends beyond mountains in the West.
Its power is a dim reflection of the sun.
Even in this depressed state the pale face represents
a new layer of awareness. Red Mars just beyond,
a single spot of color on the monochromatic canvas
of the night sky.

Samadhi in Mariposa

Night Sky


Warm
---------mid-summer night
clear air
------------sounds radiate unhindered
no moon
-------------darkness rules the ground
sky above
---------------ten thousand dancing candles
consciousness
-------------------once confined to the shell of my body
expands
-------------absorbing the vastness.




I had an experience in Mariposa when I was young. I must have been about 6 years old. I might have been alone but most likely there were others there star-gazing with me on a mid summer night, standing in our front yard, absorbing the beauty offered to us. The Milky Way was so pronounced, I have never seen it so vibrantly since, and I actually began to see its depth. My equilibrium for a moment and I had the sensation that I was on the verge of falling away into the sky. I knew what the Milky Way was, I knew that stars were exponentially larger than the earth, the distances between them even more vast. How could a force so immense as the Milky Way be overcome by a little thing like the gravity of the Earth. I was seeing this all at once in my mind, it was my first and most pronounced instance of samadhi.

Understanding

Unraveling what I learned...


Moment of Realization

I have been gazing into the night sky, and
slowly become aware of the physical beauty,
the exponential vastness, the intangible scale before me.
My mind reels, trying to comprehend,
trying to grasp my own insignificance.
Neurons, synapses, and axons wave information
near light speed as my mind calculates
my volume relative to the Earth
relative to the Sun
relative to the distance between stars.
The functioning capacity of my brain is realized
and I become aware that I am
no longer just standing on earth.

Inconsequential - Free Verse

The ocean was calm, a girl with her chocolate lab
walked down to the shore and left as soon as
the dog had done it's business.
An old man sat on a large piece of drift wood
that had been dragged up to the highest part
of the beach. We made eye contact
when I first arrived, he let his dog run loose.
Lieca, she looked like a Labrador/Boxer mix.
She and Jack got along wonderfully but
she didn't grasp the two part concept of fetch.
The old man kept his eyes down and sipped
from an aluminum can too large to be a soda.
Jack and Lieca chased my tennis ball into the water,
non-stop, for 25 minutes while I drank two MGDs.

I wanted to let Jack dry so I wandered towards
the old man still sitting on the driftwood bench.
I asked about the breed of his dog.
She was born in Mexico, a stray in the streets.
He told me the story of bringing her back across
the border to southern California.
She had her shots, customs confiscated her food-
a product of the US exported to Mexico.

He told me about growing up as a merchant marine
sailing from the bay, into the delta, stopping at Stockton
Back when the air field was property of the Navy.
Back when dirigibles patrolled the coast looking for submarines.
Back when the harbor bustled with fishermen.
Back when the cove was exposed to the ocean,
no breakwater had been constructed.
Back when yachts were the spectacle, not the fishermen.

The skin of his face was hardened with the years.
His eyes had sized me up the moment I set foot on the beach.
He had not said two words to his dog since my arrival.
We talked more about the good old days, tough as they were.
Things he survived, things I've only heard of.
Things are strange now, changing too fast,
neither of us felt at ease in this world.
He held can of malt liquor, his hand was steady as he drank.

I ditched school to take my dog to the beach.
I'm 28, taking one class at a community college.
I figured my actions were inconsequential.

Three variations and my first cinquain.

The sun was half way set;
graceful arc of decline.
The deck darkened with shade
save for one little square.
My dad, my dog, my self
leaning upon the rail.
Leaving the world to shine;
our minds, adrift, away.

----------------------------------

The sun was half way set;
graceful arcing decline.
The deck was dark with shade
save for one little square.
Dad, my dog, and myself
forgot the world to shine.

--------------------------------

The sun was half way set;
graceful arc of decline.
The deck darkened with shade
save for one little square.
My dad, my dog, my self
leaning upon the rail.
Fitting into the light
our minds, adrift, away.


Clouds
broken white
drifting over pines
intangible arguments obscuring sunshine
moving away with no afterthought

Fruitless Night - A Villanelle

Where can you be, my beautiful Muse?
My brow wrinkles with impotent thoughts.
Come to me, you are mine to use.

It's no substitute, this bottle of Sake I abuse.
The drink is gone and I've no poem to write,
where can you be, my beautiful Muse?

So many sheets of paper, I have tried to use.
You wandering, fickle woman,
come to me, you are mine to use.

Tomorrow; “you're lazy!” Tim will accuse.
But I'll show these papers, spread out on my desk.
where can you be, my beautiful Muse?

At least ten grade points, I'll surely lose
I need a poem tonight, I must hear from you soon.
Bring yourself here, you are mine to use

You've cheated on me and I know it.
Gone out to find a better poet.
Where can you be, my beautiful Muse?
Come to me, you are mine to use!